The Kids Are Home
This post may contain affiliate links and I may earn compensation when you click on the links at no additional cost to you.
Raising children is hard on your emotions. You laugh. You cry. You laugh because you cry. You hurt. You hurt for them. You get angry at them. You get angry at yourself for being angry at them. It’s hard. Every emotion I felt as my son and daughter were being raised in our home didn’t prepare me for the emotion I felt as they each left the house for college. I missed them so very much. It hurt. It sucked. It was hard.
My husband and I had a full 9 months without the kids living in our home while they were both in Kansas for college. About a week ago, they both came home for the summer. Guess what! We laugh. We cry. We laugh because we cry. We hurt. We hurt for them. We get angry at them. We get angry at ourselves because we get angry at them. It’s hard.
I loved every minute of raising my children. Every age they were at was my favorite. Now is no different. I love having adult offspring! I just wish it wasn’t so emotional still. I do have to say, that I am an emotional person (very emotional). Maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s just being a mom.
The hardest part of when my children were growing into teens and now adults is that there is no stretching the truth when talking to them. My kids can see straight through that now. When they were little, I could tell them things like, “You ONLY have sex when you WANT to have a baby.” Yes, I actually told my daughter that when she was about six or seven. As they get older, no matter what I taught them when they were younger, I have to say things like, “Never have sex with a girl that has been drinking and NEVER have sex if you’ve been drinking.” Their problems have gotten bigger and the consequences are huge. I want to simply say, “NEVER have sex. NEVER drink NEVER do drugs.” I taught that when they were young, but now I feel as I have to say it differently based on where they are in life and the temptations and influences they face. One of my kids still talks to me about life, parties, sex, etc. The other doesn’t. Do I really want to know all the dirty details? No, but I would much rather have conversations and lead them into the right direction. I do not like finding out on social media what they have been up to. I don’t like being surprised and my heart sinking into my stomach when I read or see something they’d wish I hadn’t.
A difficult part of them coming home for the summer is finding a balance with them living in OUR house with OUR rules after living on their own terms for a while. We ask where they are going and who they are with. We discuss the time they need to be home. We are lenient, but we do have our own lives to live and jobs to work. We need rest free of worry. We are “those” parents. You know, the ones that can’t sleep until everyone is home and safe in their rooms. When they are away at college, we pretend that they are getting home at 10pm every night and getting a good night of sleep. When they are here with us, we know that they aren’t home and we worry. It has definitely been rough at times. While I know they understand where we are coming from, they don’t necessarily like it.
The best part of having them home for the summer is simply spending time with them. I love being around them and learning about their friends and school. Their ages, 19 and 21, are my favorite of course! I know they aren’t my babies anymore. I know they won’t always come home for summer. Soon enough, they will be living on their own permanently and with their own personal lives. I will worry less then, but I will miss them more.
Emotions are hard.
