What’s Your Refuge?

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That’s a lovely verse, isn’t it? Yeah, well, not so much for me.  I feel convicted every time I read it.  I am a huge worrier.  What do I worry the most about on a daily basis? Food and clothes. I am so not one of those people that forget to eat or didn’t have time to eat.  I don’t miss a meal. EVER. I plan around breakfast, lunch and dinner. Oh, don’t forget about the snacks. The thing is, it doesn’t matter if I am binge eating, eating like a normal person, watching what I eat, or even dieting, I plan my day around food. How do you not? 

I often wondered if I idolize food. I feel that when I am watching what I eat, I focus on food more. I plan my meals, count calories, points, carbs, or whatever. I heard a sermon at church recently titled, “What is Your Refuge?” Oh my, it was eye opening. 

Too sum it up, the main question asked was, “What do you turn to in your time of need?” My pastor gave many options as the answer, alcohol, smoking, drugs, food, sex, sports, exercise, self promotion, self pity, and many others. Food is what stuck out to me.  I am comforted by food. I’ve even “self destructed” with food by eating whatever I want in huge amounts until I feel sick. I’m not sure I know why that helps, but it seems to at the moment.  

Now, I do turn to God too. I pray. I try to pray about everything. I am working on my prayer life. What I realized during the sermon is that I am turning to God as my refuge, but I don’t give it all to Him. I still work to comfort myself. Needless to say, I felt convicted. It’s what I needed to hear and what I need to work on.

I’m committing to praying when I feel hungry or just have the urge to eat. I want God to be where I turn, not food.

What is your refuge?

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life-whether you have enough food and drink, or  enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing?” –Matthew 6:25