College Bound

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Summer is winding down. College professors are perfecting the class syllabus. Incoming freshmen students are purchasing necessities and decor for their dorm rooms. Excitement and anxiety are setting in. This is a fun, but, possibly, scary time for those leaving home for the first time. Freshman year of college is an emotional roller coaster.

When students arrive on campus, the excitement of moving in and decorating the dorm is an obvious feeling, but meeting roommates, hall mates, and others can fill one with anxiety.

Soon, parents say their goodbyes. Dorms are decorated, students are settled and exploration begins. With butterflies in their stomachs, hesitant freshmen roam the campus, check out the dining hall, and hope to make a friend or two.

Incoming freshmen students generally have activities set aside just for them to meet other freshmen and get familiar with the campus. Some of the activities may be silly and not preferred, but they are in place to build relationships. Don’t blow this off. Make the most of it and start the year with friendly faces.

Just as freshmen students begin to feel comfortable around campus, it is time to start classes. Walking into the large room with all eyes watching is daunting. Some students spend a few calculated seconds on where to sit. Others just toss their backpack and plop down.

The nerves settle and days turn into weeks. Freshmen are having fun, meeting new people, getting the feel of classes and homework, and attending sporting events. But watch out! At the six week mark, another feeling comes into play. Students begin to feel homesick. They miss the comforts of home. Some miss home-cooked meals while others miss eating at their favorite places when they weren’t broke college students. Others miss the parental or sibling support they grew up with. College athletes come to find they miss their cheering section. If attending college a good distance from home, odds are that parents, siblings, and friends can’t make many games. The personal cheering squad is absent. Missing childhood or high school friends is a thing too. Maybe no one at college fills the same needs as the best friend back home.

Luckily, Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks are around the corner. The first break, Thanksgiving, can go either way. For some, it is just enough to relieve the homesickness, but for others, it can intensify the feeling. It’s a short break but offers enough comfort and love to get students through finals.

Freshmen wrap up finals and head home for Christmas. This break is longer and allows plenty of time to catch up with friends and spend quality time with family for the holidays. Some realize that they don’t necessarily like living at home any longer. They enjoy the freedom dorm life offers. Before long, it is time to head back to reality. However, students are refreshed and feel the excitement of seeing classmates and getting back into the swing of college life.

For most, excitement flutters away around March and the feeling of ‘done’ has etched its way in. Freshmen are feeling homesick again and wanting classes to be over. It is important to keep a positive attitude and focus on bigger picture.

While this is a new chapter in the student’s life, it is also a new chapter in the parents’ life. Parents are going through the same emotions, plus one more, sadness. Students may be separated from their parents, but they are embarking on a new adventure. They have lots of new and exciting things and people waiting. Parents are left with an empty room and a quieter house.

My daughter began her freshman year of college in 2016. We were in the middle of selling our house. She had to report to school early for soccer. When she left, she left the only home she’d ever known and would not return to it. We would be in our new house by the time she could visit us. We drove her to the airport and she flew alone for the first time. She was nervous about flying alone and meeting her teammates, but she was also excited. I, on the other hand, was a mess. Watching her go through security at the airport brought on tears that had no end. I was worried about her. I was sad. I was a wreck.

My son left for college in 2018. He and I drove the six hours together and I had time to sort through my feelings. I wasn’t as bad this time around, but I still cried leaving him. I was worried about him. I was sad. However, I had my own adventure to look forward to this time. My son’s departure left my husband and I empty nesters.

Their freshman experiences were similar to what I mentioned earlier in this post, yet different from each other. My daughter adjusted to small-town life fairly easily. My son didn’t. He prefers our city where many places are open 24 hours. They both settled in with their roommates and teammates. They both got homesick. Fortunately, they both called home to let us know how things were going. One wanted to come home and give it all up at the end of the first semester. My daughter will begin her senior year in a few short weeks. My son will begin his sophomore year. They have both persevered through the challenging times, homesickness, bad professors, selfish teammates, and party scenes. They may not see it now, but in the future, they will come to realize how important these college days truly are to them.